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by goingconern (GoingConcern) at 2007.9.10 21:13 (#3923125@0)

Things that you should think again before you speak:

1. I know how you feel (no one exactly knows how a sick person feels)
2. You are going to be fine (this is especially inappropriate for someone who knows he is terminally ill)
3. It is not that bad ( often said to help the speaker himself feel more comfortable)

It is not not up to you to play psychologist and talk the sick person out of feeling morose. It is far better to listen to what he has to say, accepet and acknowledge the situation and his feelings about it and make empathetic statements he can react to.

Something to say:

1. It must be tough
2. You must be feeling pretty tied down.

Don't:
1. Don't wear perfume.
2. Don't sit on the edge of bed. It may hurt the patient or make him uncomfortable although in China we mean to be more personable and caring.
3. Dont stay too long. Leave the patient cheerful and leave him time for rest. (15-20 min )


Some other friendly reminders:

1. Do not assume the nurse only works for your patient, refrain from asking for special attention especially when the nurse is busy.Other patients need care,too.
2. Check with the nurse if you bring any food, even if it is what the patient asks for.
3. When you greet the patient, take his hands gently, don't hug or touch too much. Some petients do not like to be touched, esp after a surgery.
4. Introduce yourself, leave your gift if any, say something cheerful(not too optimistic), wish the patien "get well soon", then unless you are asked to stay, just say to everyone "It was so nice to meet all of you."--->exit
5. If other visitor arrives, leave sooner. If his relatives are present, leave sooner so that they have more time to talk.
6. Just remember your job is to cheer up the patient, so stay upbeat. Do not talk about anything that worries the patient.
7. Pot flower is better than cut flowers as they are easy to care for. Other nice gifts can be light reading material, audio books, nice pillow case, mirror, good news of friends and family.